Yes, I can see his eyes. Oh, yes, his eyes. In my dreams, I see them. Every emotion surrounding them, clouding them; intense, kind, shrewd, loving, everything I need. The color … maybe green, blue-green; deep and clear like a stormy sky across the sea. A vast lake in spring. A silver pool of life; a life promised. So close, so near. Fixed upon me. Two glittering stars in the sky, two diamonds at the bottom of the lake. Maybe not for me, but I’ll have them in my dreams. Oh, yes, my silly, selfish dreams.

And if I one day find that dream turned into reality, I am afraid I will fall, oh yes, fall from that stormy sky and into the merciless sea. Into that warm spring lake and never return fully myself. I fear drowning; not finding my feet, but slip and disappear; forget myself in those blue-green embers once they look at me. I long and fear for that day.


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