It is strange, so very strange. I am paired with myself in this life and beyond, it seems; fate toying with my fate. I am my mirrored self, my doppelgänger, my soulmate, my alter-ego, my own friend and enemy, my ying and my yang, both sides of the same coin. A cynic and a sentimentalist. I am Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Both Leo and Virgo. I am, I am, I am. Narcissus forever bound to his own reflection, even if this one disappears. To remind me that I am more than body and flesh; that I consist of matters beyond grasp and comprehension, beyond soul and concept. Something only certain eyes will see and recognize.

Opposing forces collide and blend within me like the turmoil nature and paradox of the sea; I am both Poseidon wielding its forces and a grain of sand tumbling beneath its unyielding waves. I am not to be controlled unless this freedom is taken away from me. Not even my other self will escape but slowly become a distant ghost of this flesh and blood and soul every time I look in the mirror and within. What a frightening thought indeed!

Not able to see myself live the life of others in reality, I live in my dreams, watching the strange ghost of myself doing the things I should, acting out events I wish of but cannot command in real life. I stand with one foot in reality, dutifully bound to this life that came and found me, and the other in my imagination, my head, the clouds – whatever you want to call it! – as I hide away in other dimensions. And I wonder … Which foot is in my grave? If I choose to stand in one, live in only one, which one will be my death sentence? Both or either, death is inevitable.


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