searching

searching

an abundance

of images

trickling

down optic nerves

tiny

phantom fingers

pricking

teasing

hungry for more

muscles straining

stretching

shuffling

through streets of pages

dirty and fresh-faced

traipsing down steps

trailing

a thumb

along edges

waxy and worn

colored dots

of pavement

each foot barely ahead

of the other and then

tripping

stumbling

too eagerly

skating

skipping stones

across infinite spaces

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I don’t just want to be in the present

—yes, the present, too

but also

many ages all at once, swallowed, whole and in half-measures

by a great, big, engulfing wave

all the times I

never spoke, always talked, and you never saw

how foolish I was, how wonderful you were

how brief we both existed

together and barely as one

music, images, words

music, images, words

absorb and forget

absorb and forget

wash over me

away from my thoughts

away from my thoughts

away and away

i dive and i swim and i drown

i dive and i swim and i drown

until the bottom i found

until the bottom i found

my heart

why are you crying?

has life not been fair to you—

not been good to you?

have you stopped beating for beautiful things?

are you company-starved—

yet company no longer warms you?

i wonder that myself sometimes…

you take in so much—

you must burst!

but it becomes everything or nothing—

dust

every impression, every notion, every sound

humans turn to moving dots

cold and soft

floating across the fields of vision

while few remain in your heart

will they too float away

like yourself some day—

and then

who ever held yours?